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True
Life Bonehead Experiences,
or How I Got to Where I am Today!: Part 2
by Bill Burke
 My
last article
generated some great comments. It is nice to know that my
candor is appreciated. There are lots of trials and
tribulations that build one's character. It's just that when
those moments are happening, we don't really give a rat's
#@% about character building and life's great
experience!
Lately, I have begun to
relish (that doesn't mean I look forward to) those
situations that make me think outside the normal parameters
of backcountry travel. It is dangerous and foolish to think
that one can be prepared for every incident that will/could
happen in the wilds. I have listened to people who have
taught/taken survival courses. I have attended them as well
and have found that the biggest common denominator is the
internal will to live. You can have all the cool stuff
and training
available, but not have the internal "will" to continue
on!
"Six Days, Seven Nights,"
a movie I saw with Harrison Ford and Ann Heche, even though
it was a comedy, had a line that highlights my point: She
said, "I need you to be the Captain. Don't fall apart on me
now!" We all need someone to be our "Captain," whether it's
our own self, spouse, significant other, mom, dad, brother,
sister or best friend. But when the chips are seriously
down, your own inner psyche is the most important
"Captain."
I am asked continuously if
I have ever been really "stuck"--not in the sense of mud
bogs, but really up the creek without the paddle type stuck
and unable to get out. Well, I'm here today! I have,
luckily, always managed to think and act my way out of
situations, and I will be the first to tell you with (no ego
involved) that I've been more than lucky! I do not push the
karma envelope too much!
Experience #4,012
Up to my armpits in deep snow!
There was the time when I
was testing out a new type winch, and had one of the first
ones off the line. My friend and I finished installing it in
the ARB bar on the D-90 and proceeded to the local trail. It
had been snowing and there was enough snow to make it
interesting. We chained up at the trail head and started to
drive the road into the back area of Slaughterhouse Gulch in
Colorado. Using the air lockers got us far enough in to get
to a low spot in the road where the snow had drifted. We
drove slowly into the deep snow making a track, backing up
and going forward.
In the process, we found
ourselves sunk deep into the chest-high drift and had to
climb out the windows, as the doors would not open. Looking
in the back, it was then that we realized that we only had
sneakers, blue jeans and coats (read, no winter gear) and
only the blade part of the
Pull-Pal, no
shovel, a gallon of water and one Power Bar. We did have the
winch accessory kit--well, we were testing a new winch! Oh,
and the Hi-Lift jack was mounted in its spot on the ARB
bar!
We stretched the cable out
and connected the hook to the tree strap that was wrapped
around a great tree. As any of you who operate in the snow
can relate, winching a rig out of four feet of snow drift is
an arduous process. We had to rig the pulley block and began
digging trenches for the tires with the Pull-Pal blade (our
only digging tool). Everything was moving along really well
until the winch quit! Yep, we weren't really pulling that
hard, what with the pulley block and digging the trenches,
and the winch was working really nicely.
Later, the winch engineers
would give us high marks for finding a potential problem in
the mechanism. But, a lot of good it was doing us
stuck!
Okay, now it's getting
dark, we have 80 feet of cable strung out tight, and no
winch. We are in soaking sneakers and looking at each other
like buzzards flying over carrion and wondering how human
ribs really taste without BBQ sauce!
The rig dug in deeper with wheelspin, and from digging a
hole under one of the tires, the road bed was still two feet
down. Man!! The Hi-Lift Jack came to the rescue one more
time. Only we didn't have any accessories, because they were
all tied up to the winch, and the special kit I have for
jack use was nice and warm in the garage!
The winch was bound up,
the clutch would not release, the cable was too tight to
release the hook, and we had no board for the jack base. We
used the blade of the Pull-Pal to support the jack, lift the
rear up and push the rig sideways to the berm or the road.
We then went up to the front and lifted the rig up and tried
to push it over, also. Doing this procedure about six times
moved the rig enough to loosen the cable. We "butterflied"
the wire around the ARB bar and since there was less
distance in back than in front, began to lift the rig and
try to move it back.
It was now DARK and
COLD(er), The many logs and rocks and bits and pieces were
doing their stuff and the jack was now working with the
chain and tree strap to pull us back. I was very glad it was
a 60" and not a 48" jack. Did I mention that we left with
only a half tank of gas, and the D-90 has a cruising range
of a lawnmower? Yes, you're right, we didn't have extra gas
either. So, not wanting to run out of gas, we couldn't keep
the engine running for heat!! By now, we had the chains off
the tires and were aired down to 8 psi and they were
actually floating. After about 40 feet of jacking, the rig
finally was able to drive out.
Airing back up and
installing the chains again took some time, as did gathering
the various items and replacing the logs and other detritus.
We were finally happily on our way. Fortunately, we didn't
get frostbite on our toes. Our winching gloves were frozen,
but hey, we got out--rather inelegantly, but we got home. I
can look back now and chuckle at two VERY experienced people
blundering big time and in a dangerous environment, but
keeping level and clear heads and working closely together
to get home yet one more time-- unscathed, but safe and very
humble.
Moral of the story? Wear
warm socks and clean underwear! ;-)
Experience
#3567: The knee-jerk reacts rockily!
It seemed like a simple
task. Stack rocks under the tire so it could grab enough to
lift the big truck off the frame and then get along up the
trail. The big 35" tire was reaching valiantly for the loose
rocks that kept spitting out. The frame rails grinding on
the three foot ledge weren't helping with forward momentum
either.
We all are guilty of
stacking rocks precariously under tires only to have the
stack tumble down, and the rig settle once more on the
frame. It is really easy to just kick the rocks back under
the tire, especially when it's spinning and the rock only
needs a fraction of an inch to go for the tire to grab it up
and send the rig up the trail.
Yeah, just give it a quick
kick, don't spin the tire so fast next time, let me just
give it a kick, the tire will catch it and...OUCH! DON'T
spin the tire! Come back SLOWLY now, easy, easy, that's it.
The onlookers are amazed that a leg can be so flexible.
That's right, the booted foot gets caught by the tire, not
the rock, the big 35" rolls back slowly and all gaze in awe
as the tibia flexes while the aired (fortunately) down tire
bends it almost four inches.
Calmly, the unfortunate
trail guide directs the driver back and off the leg. People
rush to the bent leg guy and expect to see a serious
compound fracture. But, this time, not so. Being out in the
middle of 100 mile nowhere, the query comes up, what if?
Does anybody know how to set a broken leg? Do you call for a
"dust off" or do you drive out six hours of trail and four
hours to the hospital? LUCKILY all that happened was a
bruised leg, swollen ankle and major pride
impairment.
Moral: Don't try to use
boot rubber for traction if your foot is still in the boot!
And, get some advanced First-Aid training and have a kit to
support backcountry emergencies!
Don't
be a stick-in-the-mud!
©Bill Burke’s 4-Wheeling America LLC
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Bill
Burke's 4-Wheeling America LLC
